We often have sessions in a different genre, to shake things up a bit. At the end of the last session, I asked the players for what they wanted, and got the suggestion of Indiana Jones-style pulp. So this session is intended to be a very affectionate pastiche...
On an empty street in Carlion, a man came sprinting. Close behind him came Sir Bleddyn, Sir Cuthbert, Sir Edwyn, Sir Jeremy and Svenhilde, in hot pursuit. The street opened up into a bustling market, where the fleeing man ducked through the crowd, and knocked over a stand of cabbages. Sir Edwyn vaulted gracefully over them; Sir Jeremy was less successful and was buried in a vegetable landslide. Close behind them, the other three participants in the chase came running.
They had come from a feast in their honour thrown by King Nanteleod. Sir Edwin's father, Sir Gherard, had long sought the fabled Hamper of Gwyddno Garanhir, one of the Thirteen Treasures of Britain. It was said that if food for one man were to be placed inside it, when opened it would have enough for a hundred men. To honour his father, Sir Edwin was intent on finding the Hamper. His companions were keen for the quest as well, as they had heard that there was famine in Salisbury - a hamper of endless food would do much to relieve this. As King Nanteleod was toasting Sir Edwin, however, the knights spotted a man in the rafter with a crossbow, who fired it at them.
Sir Helbur had been having a bad feast. His wife, Lady Jenna, was upset with him after he failed to follow her instructions the previous year. Furthermore, he had returned from the north with a new squire - who happened to be a stunningly beautiful Thulian maiden. So Sir Helbur had watched his wife snub him, while she flirted shamelessly with Sir Bleddyn, who had distinguished himself in battle. Now Sir Helbur found himself in the position to be the only one able to act as the crossbow bolt flew. He flung himself at King Nanteleod and knocked him out of the way - but the bolt struck him instead. The hall was in an uproar. The assassin fled - and four heroes sped after him.
The assassin had now reached the far side of the market place. There was a large stone building being constructed there, and the assassin jumped up and climbed it, then began escaping along the partially constructed roof. The knights and Svenhilde followed close after him, but Sir Cuthbert lost his grip and fell down to the street, with displaced stones falling about him from the construction site. The others chased the assassin upon the rooftops. Sir Edwin caught up to the assassin and tried to tackle him, but was knocked back. The assassin reached the edge of the roof and then flung himself out across the street, managing the catch hold of the next rooftop and hauling himself up to continue running. Sir Edwin managed to jump after him, but Sir Bleddyn failed to make the jump and fell, becoming tangled up with lines of washing between the building which served to break his fall.
The assassin now leaped down to the street as he entered the docks of Carlion. Svenhilde grabbed one of the broken washing lines and swung down off the roof at him, kicking him with both feet in the chest and sending him flying into the water. He surfaced, only to have Sir Edwyn upon him. The two men struggled briefly in the water, but Sir Edwyn was able to punch the assassin, leaving him dazed. He hauled the man to water and began to question him as he regained consciousness. "The secrets of the druids must never be revealed!" the assassin hissed - just before a crossbow bolt struck him in the chest, killing him. Sir Edwyn could just make out another assassin fleeing, too far away for him to chase down. There was nothing interesting on the body save a tattoo of three leaves. Was this some sort of cult which did not wish the Hamper to be found?
The group met up again at the castle, where King Nanteleod told them that Sir Helbur was recovering in bed, and would not be able to accompany them. He also said that they had a guest: Lady Evienne, of the Ladies of the Lake. That pagan sisterhood was interested in the Hamper as well, and the Lady had foreseen that other forces were moving to claim it for themselves. The assassin, she announced, had intended to kill Sir Edwin, not King Nanteleod. (The knights had already surmised as much, and Sir Edwin was starting to feel a bit blase to assassins coming after him!) The Saxons were also interested in the Hamper, however. King Oisc of Kent was interested in the occult and the supernatural, and wished to claim the relic for himself. The endless food supplies would mean his armies would never need supply lines again, giving them an immense strategic advantage in conquering Britain. Svenhilde was very keen to talk to Lady Evienne about her magic, as she was fascinated by such things; she became quite upset when Lady Evienne brushed her and her talents off. (The other knights remembered how Merlin had once disparaged the Ladies of the Lake, and were quick to reassure her.)
The group decided to follow a lead that Sir Edwin had discovered when he had been researching the Hamper that Christmas. The Hamper was said to be on the lost island of Cantrev Gwaelod, off the coast of Wales, which had sunk beneath the ocean many years earlier. However, it was said that its king, the legendary explorer Gwyddno Garanhir, had escaped the drowning of his land and was now living in Cardigan. En route, Lady Evienne began her slow seduction of Sir Bleddyn. She also wanted the Hamper for herself. To the Ladies, it was an item of incalculable power - those who saw it purely as a source of food were blind to its true potential. Bleddyn proved intractable to sexual blandishments, but yielded to her manipulations when she promised him power and glory, and compared him favourably to his brother Sir Cadfael (who had rescued her from Irish raiders twelve earlier). Sir Bleddyn agreed to betray his comrades and to deliver the Hamper to the Ladies of the Lake.
The knights arrived in Cardigan after a week on the road, and began to ask around about where they could find Gwyddno Garanhir. More cultists were waiting for them there. In a crowded marketplace, a bag was thrown over Svenhilde's head and she was carried off. Sir Cuthbert and Sir Jeremy gave chase, but were attacked by thugs. Sir Jeremy drew out his bow and shot his opponent, then sped after Svenhilde. Sir Cuthbert on the other hand fought a protracted fist-fight, which he won when he managed to hit his opponent on the head with a barrel. Sir Jeremy found the others and they followed Svenhilde to a fish-pickling warehouse. There, Svenhilde was suspended by a chain above a barrel of pickled fish. A number of druid cultists were there too, with their leader interrogating her about the Hamper. The knights sprang into action and swiftly defeated the cultists. During the fighting, the chain holding up Svenhilde was released, and Sir Jeremy barely managed to catch her in his arms before she fell into the pickled fish. Sir Jeremy had intense feelings for the Thulian maiden: Svenhilde was now beginning to appreciate him as well.
Sir Edwin had discovered where Gwyddno Garanhir lived, and the group headed to his house to find that the lock had been forced open. Sir Edwin and Sir Cuthbert headed inside, while Sir Jeremy, Sir Bleddyn and Svenhilde headed around the back. There were Saxons inside, clad in long black leather coats. Their leaders were a old man and a freakishly massive warrior: Heydrich Cursebinder, Kent's chief wizard, and his henchman Wulf. Over Wulf's shoulder was draped the unconscious form of Gwyddno Garanhir. The Saxons fled out the back of the house with Gwyddno Garanhir, while Wulf and some Saxon warriors remained to fight the knights. Sir Cuthbert swiftly disposed of the Saxon warriors, while Sir Edwin threw everything that he had at the giant Wulf, to no avail. During the fighting, the house caught on fire, and all the combatants began to have trouble breathing with the smoke. Sir Cuthbert attempted to help defeat Wulf - striking him over the head with a frying pan, and trying to trip him with a rope, only to be pulled off his feet himself.
Outside the house, Sir Bleddyn and Sir Jeremy ambushed the Saxons as they attempted to flee. A furious melee broke out next to the burning building, and during the distraction, Svenhilde crept over to Gwyddno and freed him. Sir Jeremy wounded Heydrich with an arrow, and the Saxons fled without their prisoner. Meanwhile, inside the house, Sir Edwin tricked Wulf into breaking the floorboards, and then he and Sir Cuthbert jumped out a window as the flaming house collapsed, crushing the massive Saxon.
Gwyddno Garanhir soon woke. The group could remember hearing tales of his exploits - he had travelled everywhere, seen everything. His exploits were such that he had even been made king of Cantrev Gwaelod, though he was off adventuring when it sank. He told the story of how he had found the Hamper - and what he knew about the druid cult. Many years earlier, Irish raiders had attacked Mona, the sacred island of the druids, and uncovered hidden treasures. (Sir Cuthbert's aunt, Sir Brietta, had heard about this as well.) Gwyddno had travelled to Mona to fight the Irish and rescue the Hamper, which they had discovered. He was confronted on the way by a secret society dedicated to preserving the secrets of the Druids. He agreed to hand the Hamper to them, and it was sealed in an ancient vault on Cantrev Gwaelod. Evienne knew that the ancient sunken island would surface again, but did not know when. The group decided to travel to Mona to obtain a Druidic calendar, which they could use at a stone circle such as Stonehenge to calculate when Gwaelod would rise once more and the vault might be opened.
Mona was one of the most horrible places that the knights had ever visited. When the Romans had attacked it to eradicate the druids centuries earlier, they had been thorough. Mist swirled over rubble and dirt. There were only a few plants which remained. Feral-eyed cannibals prowled the landscape. The knights were attacked by a pack of naked savages. They slew a few, and then escaped as the fallen men became food to their comrades. The knights were followed by riders clad in bone armour, with shields of human leather. They were followers of Diwrnach, a self-proclaimed king who led a band of more organised cannibals. They were tracking the knights, curious as to what they would discover. Gwyddno confirmed what they all thought - as soon as the knights had discovered what they had come here for, Diwrnach would send his men forward to massacre them all. They were horribly outnumbered by the riders who stayed just out of sight...
There was no rest with sleep. Their nights were haunted with black dreams. Sir Cuthbert dreamed that as a child of two worlds, he became rejected by both. Sir Edwin dreamed that he compromised his ideals so far that he accepted the help of the Saxons in fighting Cornwall, and still failed when they betrayed him. Svenhilde dreamed of Sligon, the usurper king of Thule, and his utter indifference towards her and her hatred of him. Sir Bleddyn dreamed that he was one of the cannibals, and was eating the flesh of his companions. Sir Jeremy's dreams were about failing his family and letting his sister die. As Sir Edwin awoke, he heard words in a strange language echoing through his mind. The group had been cursed by Heydrich at Cardigan, and he now haunted their dreams...
After a day of hunting, the knights discovered ruins at the middle of the island - the ancient holy site of the druids. Sir Edwin entered the ruins and discovered an ancient crystal and stone talisman, the size of his hand - the druidic calendar that they sought. Meanwhile, the other knights prepared a surprise for Diwrnach's riders. That night, Evienne began to chant, and hidden fires prepared by the knights flared up. Svenhilde made wailing, supernatural sounds from a hiding place, while Sir Cuthbert pretended to be an evil spirit that 'emerged' from the fire and danced. The mock ritual terrified Diwrnach's riders, and while they were bewildered, the knights took to their horses and escaped from Mona.
More nightmares plagued the group as they made their way to Stonehenge, where they could use the calendar stone at the coming solstice. Sir Bleddyn hatched into a monstrous dragon, Sir Cuthbert was stripped of his knighthood, Sir Edwin died an anonymous and meaningless death, Svenhilde was deemed 'not magical enough', and Sir Jeremy was killed by Svenhilde. The group stopped at Amesbury just before reaching Stonehenge, where Abbess Esther's prayers ended their nightmares. They then went to Stonehenge and waited there for the sun to rise on the day of the solstice. As the first lick of sunlight stretched across the land, it shone into the druid calendar stone. The crystals upon it lit up with all the fire of the sun, and it emitted a beam of light which struck one of the standing stones. Lady Evienne interpreted it and told the knights that Cantrev Gwaelod would rise from the ocean sooner than they had thought. They had one day...
The group went to Bristol where they found a terrible storm raging upon the ocean. No captain would agree to take them out to see, so they bought their own ship. Sir Edwin, who had experience with boats, served as captain. Wind and rain lashed at them, as they hugged the coast to make their way to where Cantrev Gwaelod should be. Then with a mighty rumbling, the ocean split asunder. A tower, then two, then a whole city began to rise from the ocean, streaming water from it. The sunken island had emerged once more.
The knights landed and began to search the city, which was covered with seaweed, flapping fishes, and the skeletons of the people of Gwaelod, who had died when it sank years earlier. Gwyddno directed them onward to the central keep - the vault of the druids was below it. They entered the manor hall and descended to its basement to find a terrible sight. Before the entrance to the vault were the massacred bodies of the druid cultists - and emerging from all around them now were the Saxons, Heydrich and Wulf, who was sporting terrible scars from the fight in Cardigan.
Heydrich explained that the curse which he had laid upon the knights had let him see into their minds, which was how he knew to be here. The druidic calendar would act as a key to the stone door blocking off the vault; the knights could then pass through the trials inside and bring him out the Hamper, or die. To make his point, he stabbed Evienne in the stomach, leaving her bleeding to death. There was nothing to be done: Sir Edwin inserted the druidic calendar into a panel in the door and twisted. With a rumbling noise, the chamber opened, and the knights entered a long corridor...
There were three tests inside the vault, the knights knew. One would test their minds, one would test their bodies, and the last would test their souls. The first test soon became apparent: the walls of the corridor began to spit forth iron-tipped darts. Svenhilde attempted to run through but was badly wounded. The other knights decided to rely on their shields and marched slowly in formation together. They were thus able to pass easily. At the end of the corridor was a door with six slots, and a bowl on a plinth before it holding six gemstones. This was the test of the mind: the knights had to figure out which gemstone went in each slot. Every time that they failed, an ancient druidic curse upon the door wracked them with agony, which was stronger or lesser based on how many gems had been put in the correct slots. Sir Edwin was tough enough that he was able to repeatedly test the puzzle, and so the knights were able to figure out the correct combination.
In the final room of the vault, the Hamper sat on another plinth. The knights were interrupted by Heydrich's Saxons, who flooded into the room to claim the Hamper. Before they could remove it from the plinth, an ancient Druid ghost appeared and explained the final challenge. All they had to do was eat from the Hamper. Heydrich and Wulf, greedy for the power of the Hamper, removed food and ate it - and their greed was punished. The food began to multiply within their stomachs, until their bodies burst under the strain and the two men gorily expired. The Saxons, screaming in supernatural terror, fled. Sir Edwin accepted the challenge next and ate with humility. He did not want the Hamper for greed, but for his father's sake, and to alleviate the famine in Salisbury. As a result, he passed the test and removed the Hamper, putting Sir Gherard's ring upon the plinth in its place.
The island shook as the waters of the ocean began to lap about the knights' feet. Cantrev Gwaelod was sinking once more into the churning ocean. The knights rushed to where they had moored their boat, taking the wounded Lady Evienne with them. She weakly urged Sir Bleddyn to steal the Hamper now. He, remembering his nightmares and the foul fates of Heydrich and Wulf, refused. "I am not a dragon," he said. The knights reached their boat and cast off just as the island gave one final heave and sank into the churning ocean. The sun began to set behind them as the knights sailed back to land, their quest complete.
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